A Moment of Connection

I have a confession to make: my favorite person to be around is me. Now, don't get me wrong—I have wonderful friends who I cherish and enjoy spending time with. But as I've grown older, I've learned to appreciate and embrace my own company.

Before I explain how I arrived at this realization, let me share a story from when I was 18. In 2013, fresh out of high school and feeling like the hardest part was behind me (little did I know the real challenges were just beginning), I was living a comfortable life in my hometown. Surrounded by family and a life of relative ease, my biggest concern was the latest fashion trends. Yet, something felt off. I yearned for more, for a deeper understanding of my capabilities beyond the confines of my familiar bubble.

With my parents blessing—and a little help with the finances—I took a leap of faith. I booked a flight, packed my bags, and soon found myself in Paris. Little did I realize, this adventure would teach me invaluable lessons about self-reliance and the profound power of solitude.

The first weeks in Paris were anything but smooth. The thrill of embarking on a new adventure was quickly tempered by the reality of navigating a completely unfamiliar environment. Every day presented a new challenge. While I was grateful for my fluency in French, which provided a crucial lifeline, it was just one piece of a much larger puzzle. The rest of my new reality felt overwhelming. In my hometown, every aspect of life was predictable and within my control. But in Paris, even simple tasks became exercises in patience and resilience. Navigating the city, managing finances on a tight budget, and adjusting to a different rhythm of life were constant reminders of how far I had ventured from my comfort zone and the warmth of my previous life felt like a distant memory.

Yet, amidst these challenges, I found a strange sense of solace. Each hurdle I overcame, every small victory in managing my day-to-day life, contributed to a growing sense of self-reliance and independence.They forced me to adapt, and eventually find my footing in a city that, despite its initial harshness, would come to feel like a second home.

But at one point in my journey, the excitement of Parisian life was often tempered by the loneliness I felt from not having established a solid social network. My days became a repetitive cycle of attending university and commuting back to my apartment, with little variation in between.

At the university, the social landscape felt particularly daunting. Many of my classmates seemed to have pre-existing friendships, and I often felt like an outsider in a closely-knit group. I often felt isolated, grappling with the desire for meaningful interactions that just didn’t seem to materialize. 

Faced with mounting loneliness and growing negativity about my situation, I knew I needed a way to shift my perspective. My initial discontent with the way I was living began to cloud my experience, making it hard to appreciate the positive aspects of my journey. 

One day, as I was heading back to my modest Parisian apartment—or rather, my small room—I found myself walking past a charming café terrace, a quintessential Parisian scene. There, sitting elegantly at one of the small round tables, was an elderly lady. She was sipping her espresso and reading the newspaper, embodying the effortless grace that so many Parisians seemed to possess.

She was well put together, her attire both classic and refined, and there was a serene composure about her that struck me. Watching her, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of admiration. She seemed completely at ease in her surroundings, completely immersed in her simple pleasure.

At that moment, something profound struck me. Here was someone who appeared to fully appreciate and enjoy the small, everyday moments of life—a trait I had been struggling to embrace amidst my own challenges. Her calm demeanor and contentment contrasted sharply with the turmoil I had been feeling.

I stood there for a few moments, observing her, and realized that her tranquility was not just about the café or the espresso. It was about her ability to find joy and solace in the present moment. She was a living embodiment of the contentment that comes from appreciating life’s simple pleasures.

This encounter was a turning point for me. It underscored the importance of shifting my focus from the difficulties and loneliness I was experiencing to the beauty and serenity that could be found in everyday moments. It was a reminder that contentment was not about external circumstances but about finding peace within oneself.

As I continued my walk back to my apartment, I carried with me the quiet wisdom of that moment. I began to approach my days with a new sense of appreciation, looking for the small joys and finding solace in the simplicity of life. This shift in perspective helped me further embrace the practice of gratitude, reinforcing the idea that contentment often comes from within.

The old lady’s serene presence became a symbol of the peace I sought and a reminder of the simple pleasures that make life truly enjoyable. Her example inspired me to cultivate a similar sense of calm and to find happiness in the small, everyday moments of my own journey in Paris.

I discovered the joy of solitary activities, wandering through art galleries, savoring coffee at quaint cafés, and enjoying quiet moments in the parks. These experiences, although initially born out of necessity, began to transform into cherished rituals. I found comfort in the rhythm of my own thoughts and the freedom to pursue my interests without compromise.

The sense of independence I developed was both empowering and illuminating. It taught me that I could find contentment and fulfillment within myself, regardless of external circumstances. The solitude that once felt isolating became a space for creativity, self-discovery, and personal growth. I began to appreciate the strength that came from navigating challenges alone and the clarity that solitude often brings.

So, while my journey began with a desire to break free from my comfort zone, it ultimately led me to a greater appreciation of my own company. I learned that being content with oneself is not about avoiding challenges or loneliness but about embracing them as opportunities for growth. And in doing so, I discovered that my favorite person to be around is indeed me—confident, resilient, and ever-evolving.

Iman Chibou